Here's the trailer for Michael Bay's latest, Pain & Gain, a movie which most of the internet has dubbed "the Coen Brothers on steroids." Personally I think it's hard to compare to the Coens when your color palate and lighting levels are so incredibly over-saturated and every third shot is a low angle, tracking "hero" shot. Then again, there are no giant robots, no incomprehensible military jargon, and the humor doesn't sound completely tone deaf, so comparatively it's practically Barton Fink.
The true story sees bodybuilders Mark Wahlberg, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and future Captain America superfriend Anthony Mackie attempting to kidnap a local gangster (the always fantastic Tony Shaloub) in order to make a quick fortune in ransom. Suffice it to say, things go downhill from there.
In two years when we're all complaining about the sure-to-be-unfortunate Transformers 4, we can point to Pain & Gain as the pebble that helped start an avalanche of terrible.
Last night I was sitting in the theater waiting to see Warm Bodies (review forthcoming) when my Twitter feed lit up with news of the first trailer for Pacific Rim, Guillermo del Toro's epic battle royale where giant robots (Jaegers) defend the Earth against giant monsters (Kaiju). Normally for a movie like that I would wait till I get home so I can watch it on a proper screen, but my excitement got the better of me and I just couldn't delay. Even on my 3.5 inch iPhone display, the trailer looked incredible.
When I got home and watched it in full HD on my television...holy balls.
GdT is a master storyteller whose creature work is unparalleled, so I've been pretty much sold on this project from the word go. But what we're seeing here...this is mind-blowing stuff. For everyone disappointed by Michael Bay's Transformers, this is the movie for you. Gone is the confusing mess of exposed gears and cables in favor of clean, elegant robot designs that are instantly iconic. We're only getting a glimpse of the creatures here, but the same aesthetic principal seems to apply: simple, memorable monsters whose profiles eschew the lackluster bio-realism of the Cloverfield or Super 8 monsters. And while I'm certainly not a gamer, I appreciate small touches like using the voice of GLaDOS from Portal as the voice of the Jaeger computer.
Plus it's always nice to see Idris Elba get to use his native British accent.
After we saw The Avengers, my wife commented how happy she was that someone had finally given Joss Whedon a giant pile of money and the freedom to really just go NUTS on film. It looks like Legendary Pictures has done the same for del Toro here and I really couldn't be happier.
Well, J.J. Abrams is certainly swinging for the fences. Either that, or he's pulling an INCREDIBLE bait and switch.
Possibly both.
Above is today's "Announcement Teaser" for Star Trek Into Darkness, which is really just "announcing" that there will be a longer teaser in theaters next weekend, not to mention the nine minute preview in front of IMAX screenings of The Hobbit. This is essentially the same logic behind splitting up the last Twilight/Harry Potter/Hunger Games books into two separate movies each, which really just boils down to, "Why do something once, when we can do it twice and get twice the money/attention!"
I'll just say it: that's some fine looking footage. Lots of action, a glimpse at some huge moments, (is that the Enterprise rising up out of the ocean? THAT'S certainly a new trick.) and an overall sense that Abrams is really going for broke. With that in mind, I have a saying when it comes to movie trailers: teasers are easy. All you need are a few finished effects shots, some dramatic closeups, an explosion or two and a menacing voiceover. As you'll recall, the teaser for X-Men 3 looked incredible. As did all the Transformer teasers. And Prometheus.
We all know how they turned out.
And when it comes to the maddeningly secret identity of Benedict Cumberbatch's villain, it certainly feels like Abrams has gone out of his way to make us all think it's Khan. The voiceover line, "For I have returned...to have my vengeance" is fairly on the nose. And then there's this Japanese version of the teaser, with just a tad more footage stuck onto the end...but man is that one image a doozy:
Every Star Trek fan knows exactly what those two hands on the glass means, and it's SUCH a distinct and iconic moment in Trek history that it has most people convinced that it must be a misdirect. Surely Abrams doesn't have the balls to try and recreate that scene...right? While J.J. certainly loves to keep us all guessing, I also wouldn't put it past him to really shoot the moon and just go for it...meaning it's actually a misdirect of a misdirect...
...my head hurts.
I expect we'll get more answers with the cavalcade of footage being released next weekend. Honestly, I'd love it if we were ALL off base and Cumberbatch turned out to be another Trek character that came completely out of left field...but I doubt it.
After the last Transformers flick earned an official metric crapload of cash at the box office this summer, it is of absolutely no surprise that the powers that be at Paramount and Hasbro are looking to keep this franchise alive and kicking through the next decade by filming parts four and five all at once. While Michael Bay has stated in no uncertain terms that he's done directing giant robot battles, look for him to sit back and collect a sizable paycheck as a producer.
Ehren Kruger will continue the scripting duties from Dark Of The Moon (which was a definite improvement over Rise Of The Fallen, but then again lupus is an improvement over bubonic plague, so that ain't sayin' much) but we've yet to hear who might take over for Bay in the director's chair. It also seems doubtful that we'll see a return of The Shia and Paramount looks sweet on Jason Statham of all people to take over the franchise. Honestly, handing the franchise over to a proven action commodity like Statham seems more in line with the vision that Bay and the studio always seemed to have for this franchise anyway.
We're still a long way off from any real progress here, but I expect we'll be seeing Optimus Prime back in theaters by 2015 at least...probably sooner.
