G.I. Joe: Retaliation Trailer Reminds Us That This Movie Is Still Happening

Over the weekend, Ain't It Cool News founder Harry Knowles held Butt Numb-A-Thon, his annual birthday party/movie marathon at the American mecca of movie theaters, the Alamo Drafthouse in Austin, Texas.  Along with some classic flicks, the crowd was treated to some sneak peaks of upcoming blockbusters, including Star Trek Into Darkness, World War Z and the loooooong delayed G.I. Joe: Retaliation.

As you may or may not recall, this movie was supposed to come out about six months ago until Paramount pushed the release date till next March at the last minute...in fact, it was so last minute that I saw stores selling Retaliation Halloween costumes this year that had clearly been produced in advance of the film's delay.  The studio claimed that it was all simply for 3D post-conversion, claims upon which the world immediately called bullshit; that kind of work does not take nine months.

This new trailer confirms what everyone assumed, that some significant re-shoots have excised the early death of Channing Tatum's Duke and given him a bigger role in the rest of the film.  Amazingly enough, this actually feels like a smart move.  For years I regarded Channing Tatum as a black hole of charisma, a literal walking void of personality.  He is easily one of the biggest weaknesses of the first G.I. Joe film and at first blush I was psyched at the notion that the sequel would begin by executing the worst part of its predecessor.

Then 21 Jump Street happened.  And Haywire.  And Magic Mike.

Even I can't argue with that list.

John Chu's debut as an action director has always looked like a step up from the original, but I'd hardly call it a sure thing.  Right now Paramount's biggest hurdle is to disabuse people of the notion that G.I. Joe Retaliation   came out a long time ago and they just missed it.

NO SARCASM! G.I. Joe: Retaliation Trailer Is AWESOME!!

I recently revisited G.I. Joe: Rise Of Cobra (it's still streaming on Netflix) and it is BAD.  Just all kinds of terrible.  While there are some fun set pieces, (and lots of vehicles, which was always my favorite part of the toys) virtually the entire cast is scraping the bottom of the barrel, even folks I generally enjoy like Dennis Quaid, Sienna Miller and Christopher Eccleston.  The only bright spot, Joseph Gordon-Levitt's deliciously over the top Cobra Commander is totally eclipsed by the negative charisma of Channing Tatum.  So when they announced a sequel and then hired director Jon M. Chu, who had previously given us two Step Up movies and the Justin Bieber documentary...well, I was skeptical to say the least.

Then this happened:

Holy balls that's amazing!  Am I crazy or does it look like Channing Tatum gets killed off in the first ten minutes?  The Rock is a hell of a leading man upgrade, and while I'll lament the lack of Cobra Commander, it's nice to see Jonathan Pryce still doing good work.  And let's talk about the rest of the cast: other than Arnold Vosloo, Byung-hun Lee and a silent/masked Ray Park, they've done away with everyone!  Gone are Marlon Wayans, Rachel Nichols, Mr. Ecko and a bewildering cameo by Brendan Fraser, replaced by Adrianne Palicki, Ray Stevenson, Walton Goggins (!) and RZA as a blind kung-fu master.

HELLS.

YES.

I love that image of the Cobra flags being unfurled at the White House...reminds me of Zod taking it over in Superman II.  And how about that great reveal of Bruce Willis?  He's apparently playing the man who started it all, General Joe Colton.  That's right, John McClain puts the "Joe" in "G.I. Joe".  Fantastic.

John Chu, I'm sorry I ever doubted you.  Bring it.

Bruce Willis Puts The Joe In G.I. Joe

Hollywood Reporter is....reporting that Bruce Willis has entered negotiations to play General Joe Colton, aka the original Joe in the upcoming G.I. Joe 2: Retaliation.  Willis is just one of many changes you can expect for this next go 'round, with the additions of Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Ray Stevensen, Adrianne Palicki and RZA.  Also new to the scene will be director Jon Chu, fresh off the success of the Justin Bieber documentary Never Say Never.

Channing Tatum and Ray Park will be among the very few returning faces from the series first entry.  Sadly for us, Joseph Gordon-Levitt will not be returning, which is a shame because we only got a few minutes of his excellent Cobra Commander at the close of the first film.  He's really the only character I'd be interested in revisiting anyway, so I'm not really torn up to see most of the major players left by the wayside.  If anything, I'd have liked to see them replace the wooden Channing Tatum, who's clearly incapable of carrying a movie, let alone an entire franchise.

I certainly won't miss Stephen Sommers, a director whose work has best been described as the type of movies a nine year old would make after spending the day eating Cap'n Crunch and watching Saturday morning cartoons.*  The real question mark here is Jon Chu, who's never really helmed a project of this scope or even genre.  Paramount has put a lot of faith in Chu and I'm curious to see if that faith pays off.  So far his casting has been pretty spot on (RZA as a kung fu expert named Blind Master?  Yes please!) and the addition of Willis, if it actually happens, looks like a step in the right direction.

*I wish I could take credit for this, but sadly this is all Harry Knowles of Ain't It Cool News.